A Real Life ‘Internet Marketing’ Story.
And how it relates to my day to day online business….
[If you are not into ‘personal’ stories, you can skip to the bottom of the page now if you like.]
This past week has been a bit of a difficult week at my place…
Not the worst week ever, or anything like that, but a bit more stressful than normal (and ‘normal’ is usually a bit stressful around here)… Lol.
So for any of you that don’t know, I am a carer for my Dad who will be 88 this month. Unfortunately, he has some dementia and needs someone around all the time.
I left my nursing job nearly 5 years ago so that I could look after him, because for my way of thinking, putting him into a nursing home just wasn’t/isn’t an option unless there is just absolutely no choice.
I figure, it is my responsibility and privilege really, to look after my parents and to do what I can to make their life as happy as possible in their final years.
Sadly my mum passed away in 1998 after a long battle with mouth cancer, and at the time Dad (and Mum) were living on the other side of the country (Australia).
So I knew that Dad would be struggling, because Mum and Dad had lived and worked together for nearly 50 years… so it was going to be a big adjustment for him with her gone, and I was a long way away, so I was not there to help.
He did have some good friends, so that was good, but I wanted to try to give him something to take his mind off things… So what would do that?
A Puppy….
So before I left, we went and got him a happy, bouncing and beautiful Golden Retriever puppy.
Dad had always been a dog person… and while he already had a dog, a German Shepherd cross, called Zac. He was getting old and didn’t have all that long left, so I figured it would be a good distraction to have a puppy to look after and take his mind off what was missing, at least a little.
Cutting a long story short…
That little Golden Retriever he named Millie. She was a beautiful dog, as retrievers are…
10 years ago, in 2005 it was decided that Dad should sell up where he was and move over to live with me… so that’s what he did, and he and Millie came over to live here.
At that time Millie was 7 years old…
She was also very overweight, because Dad had been spoiling her and just feeding her bits of this and that all the time, whenever she indicated she wanted something, and for the most part, it was things off his plate in addition to her regular food.
Retrievers are well known for their love of food, and Millie was no exception…
I was surprised when I saw here… I had not seen her for a couple of years. If you can imagine this big huge dog with a small head… that was Millie, because she had put on so much weight.
Well this isn’t about how to get your dog to lose weight… although I guess I could talk about that… it is more about the fact that Millie, did lose her weight, settled in well to her new home, and is still with us…
She is now 17 years old, as of July 2015…
She is apparently way past her expected ‘use by date’, you could say, because from what I’ve seen Retrievers reach an average age between 13 to 14 or so years.
So it’s reasonable to say the she doesn’t have all that much time left…
What Made this Week so Difficult.
Well… the other day we (mostly me, as Dad is not really able) made the decision it was time to have her put to sleep… If you knew me, you would know that was not an easy decision for me to make.
Of course it’s not easy for most people, but I am probably a bit more extreme than most and go to lengths that many would not go to.
Millie has been having issues with her hips and back legs. The muscles have been wasting away, so it has become more difficult for her to walk… Despite all that, most of the time, she still looks to go for a walk (only a short one of course) and she still looks forward to her food, plus she enjoys having a sun bath etc.
I have no doubt that some people would think it’s past time to put her to sleep, but she still seems to get pleasure out of life so I feel that to cut that short would not be the right thing to do.
It’s a difficult balance though…
Because of her difficulties getting up and down (she often has to be helped up) she has issues with incontinence, and I have had to adapt things around the house to make cleaning up the mess a bit easier.
With all that said, when she seemed to have deteriorated to a point where she could not walk more than a few steps without dropping down, I felt the time had come. I didn’t want her to suffer more than would be reasonable.
So I rang the vet and arranged a visit for the next afternoon. I also rang the pet crematorium and booked a pickup… because we decided to put her ashes in a photo frame box, in the hope this might make it a bit easier for Dad to cope with the loss.
I decided to get her some treats, so I organized some raw chicken thighs to feed her after her dinner (normally she would have chicken necks, but we have been unable to get any for a few weeks, so given she loves chicken, I thought thighs would be a great treat for her).
That night she had her usual dinner (we feed the dogs mostly a raw diet, and I also give her a magnesium tablet and vitamin C which seems to make her more comfortable), and then after dinner she had her chicken thigh treat.
I was pretty upset of course… it is so difficult to make this sort of a decision for someone like myself, but I had pretty much ‘settled’ into the fact that it had to happen.
Then the unexpected happened…
That night she had one of the best nights she had, had in a few months… by that I mean… no accidents in the house and she seemed brighter.
When she got up she seemed to be walking better…
I was surprised, but still thinking today was the day.
I gave her another feed of chicken thighs in the morning, as an added treat (normally they only have the one meal a day; in the evenings).
Next thing she was looking to go for her walk… and she had not been for a walk for nearly 2 weeks… (the weather had been dismal and cold in the middle of winter here in Australia).
So we took her for a walk and while she didn’t walk all that far, she was walking straighter and walked the distance she had been walking a couple of weeks before.
All big surprises considering how bad she had been the day before.
I was trying to work out why?
The only thing different was the amount of food I had given her with giving her the extra chicken necks.
So this got me to thinking…
Even though she was having a big dinner and probably bigger than she used to have a year or so ago, even though I actually help her eat it with a big spoon (don’t laugh), so she has been happily eating all the dinner I normally give her, she still might have needed more food!
My thoughts were… perhaps she has not been digesting her food very well and therefore might have been needing more to get enough protein to actually slow down the weight loss and muscle loss!!
So maybe she had deteriorated because I was not feeding her enough!
Then to add to the problem… I had not tried to walk her for a couple of weeks (she had not really been looking for walking either).
Not exercising would have only exacerbated the muscle loss and back end weakness… which would make her condition deteriorate more… right?
Millie got a reprieve…
So the long and the short of it, was I cancelled the ‘event’ and thought I would see how she goes over the next week if I make a point of feeding her more and also taking her for that little walk every day to get that bit of exercise that she needs and then see how she goes…
It is obviously not a case where she is going to suddenly get way better, and the inevitable is likely not all that far away… in the meantime, Dad gets to enjoy his companion a bit longer.
As long as she seems to be getting enjoyment out of life… even if it means extra work for me keeping things clean around the place, then I don’t feel I can cut it short.
So for now… I am still running the best nursing home around for Dad and his dog… hoping to make their last days as pleasant as possible.
How Does This Relate to Internet Marketing… The Reason Why!
Well I guess this story touches on the ‘Reason Why’…. This is a huge part of my ‘reason why’ I am working at this ‘online thing’.
At 60 years of age, due to ‘retiring’ early to look after my Dad, I have managed to go through what little ‘retirement funds’ I had and now there is nothing to ‘fall back on’. We even have a large mortgage on the house…
So clearly there are some financial ‘why’s’ as well as the fact that I really want to be able to have the freedom to continue to look after my Dad and be able to choose what I want to do and where I want to do it.
What a lovely story Lynne and what a great ‘why’.
I think finding your ‘why’ is one of the most important steps anyone who is looking to start an online business must take.
My ‘why’? I had an operation for breast cancer last year and it brought home to me how short life is. I want to enjoy my life, my family and be in a position to help them, both financially and emotionally, and need to stop the JOB and work at a less stressful pace.
I have posted about identifying your ‘why’ as I think it is so important.
Keep up the great work Lynne, and thanks for sharing your story with us,
Thanks Gil for the kind comments… Sorry to hear about your situation, cancer is definitely something that gives a person a good reason to take stock of what is important in life… So thanks for sharing your why. Stress is a killer… and not sure if you are interested but I hope you are looking into diet and other lifestyle aspects because they can make a huge difference to getting over health problems. Natural health is another specialty of mine 🙂 Meanwhile, I wish you every success not only with your business but more importantly overcoming the health challenges you have faced… Thanks again for stopping by… 🙂
What a wonderful message Lynne! My daughter just had to put their dog to sleep and it really affected my granddaughter who’s 6…She said, Mommy my heart is broken! So glad Millie got a reprieve, especially since your Dad is so attached to her. I took care of my Mom and my Aunt both, so I know what you are going through. My “why” is to make money online so I can retire from insurance sales and have more time with my family, volunteering and travel! I enjoy helping people with insurance but it is highly regulated, very time demanding and stressful. I’m 4 years older than you and would like to retire along with my husband who has been retired for a few years already! Thanks again Lynne for sharing your personal life with us.
Barbara, thank you for the kind words… So sorry to hear about your daughter and granddaughter’s experience, it is one of the less pleasant life lessons to learn to cope with, that’s for sure. It certainly seems like we have a lot in common (I believe I mentioned in a post on your site, I used to be in Insurance sales, and I can totally understand where you are coming from), and you having cared for family you would certainly have a very good idea of what the situation is like here 🙂 At our age 4 years is a ‘drop in the bucket’… but I certainly think you deserve to be able to retire and get the freedom you deserve at this time of your life… Will be glad to help if I can… I appreciate you for taking the time to comment… thanks again… 🙂
Awww, growing up we always had a cat and a dog, and it broke my heart each time one of them left us. Hope your Dad & Millie get a little longer together.
As to my”why”?
I’m pretty much unemployable, as I’ve been self-employed for so long. The trouble is, I’m not getting any younger, and would like to retire in the next 10 years and do some traveling. Current finances say we’re going to be sitting by the fire for a lot of those retirement years, so I need to do something about that!
Hey Keith, thanks so much for taking the time to comment… and I can totally relate… we always had dogs, occasionally cats… I am a huge pet lover. Can relate to the ‘unemployable’ thing… although I have worked a numerous things over my lifetime, and I can also relate to the ‘not getting any younger bit’ too! If I don’t get things moving then I might be joining you by that fire, so I guess we have some really good reasons why… thanks again 🙂
Lovely story, it’s nice to know your ‘why’ – thank you for sharing it. Your story touched me as a few months ago I took the decision to put my best friend. Cleopuss to sleep – it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
In terms of my ‘why’, I have recently become a dad at the age of 43, after many years of unsuccessfully trying with my lovely partner. I am determined to be the dad that my father wasn’t for me, and actually be there when my little girl needs me, wants to play or go on an adventure together. I have spent years working on online projects which freely share my knowledge and skills.- I figure it’s time to make this a career – to allow me to work from home and be a dad. My ambition is to be there when Josie wakes up In the morning to make her breakfast, and to be there when she comes home from school, to play or do something creative together.
Good luck on your own journey, with your dad, and with Millie too.
Thanks Ant, for stopping by and taking the time to comment… It is certainly very difficult having to make that decision. Our pets, the lucky ones at least, become a part of the family… You’re reason why is awesome! Congratulations on becoming a Dad… a huge task ahead, but sounds like you are a great Dad! Thanks for sharing that too… And I’m wishing you all the best with your plans also… 🙂
oh Lynne…. I got teary reading your story….but so glad I read through to the end, so now I know Millie’s getting better 🙂 hooray!
You’ve got a great “WHY”… you’re on your way to success already!
My “WHY” is the same old same old… family and mortgage.. but really family is one that makes it all worthwhile in the end…. for me 🙂
Hi Christine, I can relate to the teary thing… I do that a lot! 🙂 Thanks for reading through and taking the time to comment… You definitely have a great ‘Why’ also… family is most definitely one huge reason to make a success of this and I think you have a great opportunity to make your dreams a reality… hopefully, we can all help each other along the way a little as we go 🙂
Hello Lynne,
A lovely story and an expected bonus at the end – another point that relates to marketing. I’ve never been a pet person myself but I do see how they benefit other people – another IM lesson – look for hidden benefits. Yet another lesson is doing the same thing all the time will give the same results and if you want different results then try something different. The final lesson of course is sheer, bloody minded persistence often pays off.
A wonderful lesson delivery and if you have more like that in your back pocket then you’ll do well at this IM lark. All you need to do now is slip an affiliate link or two into your post and get the visitors in. It will work in the long run.
Regards,
Steven Lucas
Lol… Steven you made me laugh… thanks for the encouragement. You mentioned some very good lessons we all need to be aware of. There are so many when you start to ‘dig’ a little. I guess an affiliate link… or I could put in an opt in form for my list perhaps… lol either way. I do appreciate you taking the time to comment. 🙂
Hi Lynne … nice post. Wishing the best for all three of you. Your ‘why’ is very similar to mine so you have my full empathy. Best wishes.
Hi Richard, thanks for taking the time to comment… I am sure we are not alone, and there are plenty more out there who have similar situations as ourselves, which is another reason it is good to be able to be a support to each other as well as to anyone else who we encounter on this journey. I certainly wish you every success also with your efforts 🙂
Very nice story. Just goes to show you that when its time it will be time and sometimes its just not time 🙂 Hope everything goes fine and she lives for awhile longer to bring happiness to your family.
Shane
Hi Shane, And yes I think you are right… She has definitely not got long. There is only so much ‘improvement’ you can expect at her age, but even if it is just another week I guess that is still better than nothing… and better than getting it done when there is doubt. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment 🙂
Lynne,
I know what you are going through. My father in law had dementia, and we also lost our Golden after 18 wonderful years together. It took me 4 years to really think about another dog in my life.
Every one needs to find the real “why” we are doing IM. Most people say money, or freedom. But to truly know “Why” we need to dig alttle deeper in side our selfves. Yes money and freedom are reasons to start an online business, but WHY do we really want those things is the question. You have found yours. May they both be around for alot longer.
Hey Alan, Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment… Sounds like you know exactly what things are like around here 🙂 And yes, you are right, our reason why needs to be a bit ‘deeper’ than just the idea of money. Often our ‘why’ isn’t just one or two things, depending, but so long as it is important enough then it is something to drive you forward. I don’t think I have come across your site previously, so I will be heading over there to check it out and add you to my watch list. Thanks again… 🙂
Wow, that is quite a story. You are one of those with a big heart. Keep it on, with such a why and some effort you will one day achieve your dreams. As for me, my why is also to help others. As naive as this may sound here I am going to say it anyway. I am from Cameroon a country in Africa, came to Europe for studies and couldn’t complete my studies due to financial problems.Got married with two beautiful girls.
Struggling to give the best to my family but above all my big why is to take this opportunity back home and educate many over there who are not exposed to such an opportunity, many educated talents do not know such an opportunity even exist. With just $100 in my country a family of six can live with it for a whole month comfortably. A university student can use that for her tuition in a year and the list goes on. I have made that amount and even more in a month just by posting and ranking a single YouTube video, so I thought if just one person in a family can do that then they will be saving the whole family. With this in mind the only way to make them believe it works is to show them how it is done but I will need some capital to rent a building equip it with computers and internet service and open it to the public for free so others can come in and learn and execute what they are learning. Now I know there are still some big obstacles along the line like having a Paypal account and so on. but if I succeed in this industry that might open up some doors for that. I mean just put on your TV and you will see how families are sacrificing their children to come to Europe and other parts of the world just to send them a $100 every month so they can get on with life.
That is just a summarised version of my why since I can not do the whole story here. Thanks for your post and thanks for giving me the chance and space here to voice this out.
Hi Boris, Thanks for taking the time to comment… and that is an Awesome WHY you have there… Would be a wonderful thing to be able to do, and I’m sure that if you keep going the way you are, then you will find a way to make it happen. Thank you for sharing the story here… I certainly wish you all the best with achieving that wonderful goal! 🙂
Hello Lynne,
This is such a wonderful post and thank you for sharing. I have been in the home medical equipment industry for over 15 years and have seen the in’s and out’s of loved ones living in nursing facilities. It is not easy task to take responsibility for aging parents and you are to be commended for doing so. I’m glad to hear that Millie is going strong. All the best to you and your family
Thank you Christopher, your comments are very kind… I nearly didn’t write it, I thought most people won’t be interested, and they probably won’t, but it was on my mind, so I decided to do it anyway. So I have been pleasantly surprised with the responses… In the industry you are in you would certainly see what nursing homes are like. I think these are sad places for people to end up. I have worked in one when I was studying nursing. I certainly would not want to be in one, so I would want to do what I can to prevent my Dad having to exist in such a place… Thanks again for stopping by 🙂